A little too much

It's monday, and I already wish it was Friday. Good God. I currently have prisoner from hell, who does not need school but rather a really good shrink. It has been deemed unsafe for him to remain in my class so we are transferring him. I would write more details but when I write my prison book in a couple years, I want you all to buy it.
It snowed this weekend. Grrr. Teasing us. I want either 1)spring or 2)LOTS of snow so work gets cancelled.
My weekends for the next month are filled up. This weekend is superbowl--I think i am going to the ocean to see Dan. Next weekend is a 5K that Sara and I are running Sunday, and Saturday (I just did that backwards, SUn-Sat, weird) I am going skiing with my ten year old cousin. The next weekend is Valentines-Presidents weekend, and I am hopefully going to Kala Point to stay in a condo. The weekend after that I have to move houses. The weekend after that, the 25th til March 1, I will be in Anchorage with the girls. The weekend after that I might be going to Walla Walla with Sara. Holy crap.

Hello out there

Here I am. New quarter at school, it's freezing cold out, and I am ready for summer. Here is the update: nothing really is new except i am free from prison CORE training and back to teaching. I have one extremely obnoxious student. The medium security sex offender unit is ok. I still miss you over there, Valdez. One rant I have...it is SO ANNOYING when people ask why i have spring, summer, and christmas break. I know to them it must seem funny since i teach inmates in a prison. But really people, I teach for EDMONDS COMMUNITY COLLEGE and therefore have the same breaks as any normal teacher.
In other news, I need two cheap tickets to Maui for March 21 to 29. Anyone know a good source?

For Real, Sara

Ok so you might not believe this, but the VERY last thought I had in my mind before I got douched in the eyes was "Don't be a pussy. Squeezing out a child will hurt worse." I kid you not, Sara. That was honestly my thought that got my through it. Haha. So, with any luck childbirth will NOT hurt less, but I am not holding my breath.

The weekend was good. I went camping with Dan. One of these days I will post some pictures, but I'm not sure if Carli still reads this or if she just stalks my myspace these days, and I know her obsession with Dan so I am keeping his pictures to myself right now. HA!

I am at the grandparents' right now, hanging out and getting fed dinner so I can't complain. I am about 65% done Christmas shopping, so that is extremely exciting. Besides that, I am tired, ten hour days are long, and I am going to bed. I will dream about pepper spray and how fun it is. RIIIIIGHT. I did my pepper spray laundry last night and had a relapse. That shit lingers forever.

Pepper Spray Sucks

Well, today was OC day. We ended up having two choices, the red canister (a little less harsh) or the silver canister (more harsh). I was about sixth or seventh to go, the first girl to step up. I let the guy choose which canister to hit me with and of course he chose silver. Fun stuff. It was a count of three and I had to open my eyes. He douched me right in the eyes from four feet away with the shit. GODDAMN THAT STUFF HURTS. I had to run forward, pry my swollen-shut eyes open with my fingers to find Bob the rubber man, and then beat the shit out of him. I felt like I did ok, but turns out when I watched the video, I beat the shit out of Bob. I walloped him over and over in the head with my fists while kneeing him in the rubber balls for the whole 30 seconds. I remember beating him with my fists but I have no recollection of kneeing him so much. Awesome. Then I was escorted to the water bucket where I spent 5 minutes cussing and filling my eyes with baby soap. I went to the yard and stood with the other recently-douched people and it took me 7 minutes to recover. Two other people got better as quickly as I did and the rest of the class took 20 to 45 minutes to get better. I was pretty damn impressed with myself, not going to lie to you. Out of the six girls, I was the only one who didn't cry. There was not a chance in hell I was going to do that. One boy in my class screamed like I have not even heard a little girl scream and dropped to his knees and couldn't even fight off Bob the Rubber Man. Over all, it was a good experience and shockingly I would definitely do it again. Everyone in my class thought it was crazy how fast I recovered. So, overall again, I liked it. Weird, huh? My skin didn't even turn red. I think I will join a Pepper Spray Team. Because I am one badass pepper-spray-receiver. BUT--It did hurt more than anything I had ever done in my life.

Dead Blog?

Tiffany wants to know why my blog has died. I shall awaken it from the dead. I am currently in Core training, which every prison employee has to take eventually, and it just took them over a year to catch me and stick my in it. It is 6 weeks of mainly boring theoretical stuff with a little interesting material thrown in. On this coming Wed., I get sprayed in the face with OC, or Oleoresin Capsicum, or a very severe pepper spray, which is going to royally suck. I saw the other class before us right after they were sprayed, and it is ugly. I'll write about it in a couple days and let you all know how it went.

Back to Work

Today is my second day at TRU, the medium security unit where I have been moved for this year. You may think, Wow, great, that's gotta be better then being in Maximum, but you would be wrong, oh so wrong. This is the sex offender unit, woohoo. Not all of the guys here are sex offenders. However, we have the only SOTP (Sex Offender Treatment Program) in the state, so we get them all. So far it is much more layed back here than in Maximum, though. On an interesting note, I have a deaf student and a sign languageg interpreter, and my task is to teach him to read. Think about that. How do you teach a deaf person to read? Normally, phonics is how I teach reading. Sounding out words that you don't know. It he doesn't know a word, he cannot sound it out. He has been deaf since birth, so doesn't know sounds. Reading for him has to be all memorization. Seeing a word, having the interpreter sign what that printed word is, and memorizing it. Sheesh. This will be interesting.

Happy Labor Day!

On the ferry just now, Kory decided he was going to start telling people happy labor day. That's funny to me. Like, Happy Memorial Day! Happy Presidents day! Nice. We just got back from sitka, where we sucked some royal ass at softball. Only half our original Whitehorse team made it, and where we took first in Whitehorse at Dustball, I am fairly sure we took last at Mudball, though we refused to check because we just didn't want to know. We had a very good time, though, and most certainly took first place in the "team that drinks the most" competition. I have one week left til I return south the real world of traffic and work.

In that prison work department, I just found out that instead of teaching in Maximum this year, I will be teaching in medium--which while that may sound better to most of you, in reality, medium is where SOTP is--the Sex Offender Treatment Program. Sweet. Now that is really a fantastic staffing change. Kudos to stupid administration decisions.